Who is this crazy bitch?

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Pennsylvania, United States
My name is Laura. I'm 26-years-old. I love cats and books and Asian ball-jointed dolls. I'm a nerd and I'm happily married to an equally nerdy husband. I'm 5'5" and weigh about 235/40. I have brown hair, bullshit brown eyes, and freckles. I also got a big ass, thick thighs, tubby fingers and toes, flabby arms, a round belly full of good food, and chipmunk cheeks that haven't gone away since I was 5. I will be buried with them, I am sure.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Stop revolting! D:

Throughout my life, I've been at war with my body. Sometimes I love it, sometimes I hate it. I'm finally at a stage where I love my body and the perks to it. I have five thus far;

1) I have lots of squishy bits so when I fall or hit into something it protects the bones more.

2) Because of my big-ass ass, I get more room when in smaller places 'cause people think tubby girls have horrible fat-cooties.

3) I can eat whatever the hell I want and not have to worry about the calories 'n at.

4) My face has a really pretty shape which I'm sure is molded from the fat. Also, chipmunk cheeks = more cute freckles!

5) My legs tend to be stronger than most 'cause it's been carrying around a lot more weight and as long as I wear the proper footwear, my knees aren't bad (though my knees are another story, thanks to physical peer abuse from the assholes in middle/high school! <3 Thanks fuckers!).

And apart from my tubby body, there are a few other things I love about myself. My hair is one of them, but the most important one was my lack of acne.

That was the ONE thing I had on all of those jerks in middle/high school! While they were making fun of me and pushing me around, I could look at their faces, marred from those disgusting little potholes filled with teenaged angst and pus, and be able to (kind of) shrug off their words of hate.

Haha! I'd think, At least my face doesn't look like a war zone, pizza boy!

This has carried on even into my late teens/early twenties. At least, until now.

Is it because I'm walking on a daily basis now, body?! Is it 'cause I haven't had pop in over a month?! I THOUGHT YOU LIKED PEACHES?!?!

Like a thirteen-year-old boy who is horrified into believing that his zits are the result of thinking about girls and their tiny bumps, parts of my face are breaking out into horrible white-headed dots.

(Oooh, I know. A post about pimples on a tubby girl is JUST what you need to read about at 12 am. Welcome!)

I'm beginning to wonder if perhaps this healthy lifestyle is what's causing it? Perhaps I'm a strange minority where chocolate and pop prevent zits rather than assist their growth? Though, wait, didn't they do a study saying that there was not relation?

Eh, kinda? It seems a majority says "no, chocolate isn't the cause." and some say "maaaaybe..."

Though the one about the very angry older lady reminds me very much about my brother. My brother used to get pimples quite a bit from eating candy and drinking pop. One day he decided to slim down on the snacks 'n at.

A day later? NO acne what-so-ever. His face completely cleared up.

And about a year or so later, he drank a single glass of orange pop. And guess what happened?

Yep. Two big ass fuckers RIGHT there on his nose. We laughed at him (us sisters are so supportive~) and he swore off pop forever. Now he drinks that green tea shit. BLEH, give me my glass of water (or frappucino) and I'm set.

BTW, my fiance is a genius~ He decided to start saving his leftover coffee in the fridge and now we get homemade lattes. LOVE HIM. Though now we're out of sugar a lot earlier than usual. *eh heh...* What can I say? My soul was born in the South.

So until I figure out what is causing my zits, I'll just keep drowning in Sea Breeze and wash my face with my fiance's Pro-Active. Surely they'll start working!

(Though now that I think about it, I'm getting married in little over a month from now... That POSSIBLY can't be the cause for my sudden case of acne, can it? ... Ffffuuuuuuuuuuuuu... )

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